Lisa Frumhoff remembered the 2021 singles gold medal game at the Forest Park Dwight Davis Regional Championships. She recalled the rain delay and the cold mist that pressed on her shoulders which ached from a fall that morning. She remembered the crowd that cheered for her opponent, who had brought many friends for support, and how she mentally slipped and was forced to a third and final game.
“I was so self-defeated in my head. I was mad at myself. We go to a final game. It’s a new match. Everything’s new about it. And at some point, my opponent is up 14 to 8 and serving. So she’s got the match point on her paddle. I say to myself, ‘Lisa, the only thing that matters now is this one point. Nothing in the past matters. It doesn’t matter all the noise you’re hearing about what could have been and all that; just focus on this one point,’” she said to herself.
Frumhoff won the rally and took the serve. She continued to tell herself the only point that mattered was the one point right now. She no longer felt the cold or heard the crowd.
“I serve the ball and win the point. Now it’s 9-14. And I repeat that over and over again. It’s 13-14. I kept the serve. Just be at this one point right here, I told myself. It was 14-14, 15-14, and 16-14. I won the gold medal and got to go to my first national pickleball championships last year.”
Frumhoff is happy to have the confidence to self-talk herself to a win again. The former Hall of Fame soccer goalkeeper and softball star spent far too many years battling life’s bumpy roads rather than competing athletically.
As a youth, Frumhoff was an all-around athlete, playing basketball, tennis and fast-pitch softball. Despite not playing soccer until high school, she earned a college scholarship as a goalkeeper. She finished her career as one of the University of Missouri Science and Technology, formerly known as the University of Missouri-Rolla, greats. She earned All-America honors in 1983, and her 14 career shutouts rank 1st in school history, leading to her being the first women’s soccer player inducted into the school’s Hall of Fame in 2002.
In 2012, Frumhoff was inducted into the school’s Hall of Fame a second time with her 1983 team. In 1985 Frumhoff played on the North Regional team in the Olympic National Sports Festival in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. This was the first year women’s soccer was in the ‘off years’ training events for the Olympics.
After soccer, Frumhoff continued her competitive and active lifestyle. She transitioned to slow-pitch softball and participated in high-level, international events that included the 1990 Gay Games III (Vancouver) and the 1994 Gay Games IV (New York). Frumhoff played shortstop and batted cleanup (batter #4), helping lead her team to the gold medal in ‘94.
Over time, interests other than sports began to fill Frumhoff’s days. In 2017, 20 years since she had played a competitive sport, pickleball entered her life in an unexpected way. Now a real estate agent looking to sharpen her other-than-selling skills, she took an Adobe Photoshop class at a local community college taught by a professor who made sexually inappropriate comments multiple times. Disgusted and angered by his comments, she considered dropping the course, but knowing he was also a substitute teacher in a local school system, she believed reporting his behavior was the proper route. She recorded him during class and submitted it with her report. When the school required her to attend a meeting, she asked a friend of 30 years, a law professor at a local university, to attend with her.
“We’re in this big boardroom. They start playing the recording. It is a slam dunk, and he’s fired. I’m standing outside the building with my friend who sat with me, and I said, ‘How can I ever repay you? It just means so much to me that you were here. What can I do?’ And she said one thing. Pickleball. She said I want you to come out and play pickleball with us. And I rolled my eyes, and I said, ‘Fine, when do you play?’”
Like many people, once she picked up the paddle she didn’t want to put it down. She was enthralled with the sport and started playing as much as possible. She realized quickly she was a 53-year-old overweight realtor who relied on bad habits to handle grief.
Dealing with her beloved sister’s Marti’s death was a challenge on many levels. The sisters had a close bond and Lisa admired Marti’s courage to accept and share her sexual orientation, 7 years before Lisa. They both had a career in real estate and Marti helped her navigate the family and life’s difficulties. On top of that, Lisa discovered Marti’s body.
“My only sister, with whom I was very close, died suddenly. She had high blood pressure, was overweight, and was not taking care of herself. I found her that day in her house; it was the most devastating moment in my life,” she said.
Within 2 years, Frumhoff soared to her highest weight of 220 pounds. Lisa began working hard to shed pounds and become more active. She had some success but returned to poor eating habits and inactivity. Her mother’s death sparked another attempt for her to be active and focused but the grieving process was arduous. The shocking death of her brother Scott, who also was gay, prompted her to seek therapy but she was also helping her father through the devastation.
“My brother committed suicide and had three toxic-level drugs in the system. Crystal meth was one of them, bath salts being another, which was big in the gay community, and another drug being in his system. We didn’t know,” she said.
Frumhoff used pickleball to escape and stay busy. She became her father’s caretaker while he needed a nursing home for his battle with dementia. She would focus on pickleball to mute the distractions that previously led to unhealthy actions. She still had a way to go with her health and needed to learn new habits, but she wanted to improve her game and was willing to do the work to make that happen.
Then, in March 2019, her 89-year-old dad passed. In April, she lost her 17-year old dog, Precious. In July, she lost Punkin, her 14-year-old dog.
“So, the three most significant relationships in my life, I lost them all within five months. I still had the motivation to be healthy, play pickleball better, and have a healthy life,” she said.
Unlike in the past, she didn’t turn to food to deal with the loss. She recharged as best she could and got back to pickleball. She relied on her trainer to help her be accountable for her eating and workouts. She learned and listened, her game improved and she dropped 70 inches around her body. Pickleball kept her going when nothing else would.
“I created the possibility for my life to be the best version of myself,” she said.
Her on-court success led her to become certified to teach pickleball. She is a Pickleball Teaching Professional Instructor and Coach by the International Pickleball Teaching Professional Association (IPTPA) Level I and Level II and a Pickleball Pro Instructor with the Professional Pickleball Registry (PPR).
Frumhoff used the opportunity pickleball presented her, revitalizing her competitive spirit, regaining self-confidence, and reminding her to focus on her health.
“When I say pickleball has saved my life I mean it. It keeps me making better choices every single day. I am the happiest I’ve ever been,” she said.
